On Marriage: contract or institution?!
Ok… cartoon’s not relevant but it’s funny though!
Let me get a bit serious - let’s debate n’ discuss this issue:
I just posted a topic on [ Ananyah ] ’s MB; it’s about marriage – marriages with age differences.
In the Arab community, it’s preferable if a girl gets married to a man who’s minimum 5 years older than her – we all know it has to do with the female’s biological clock & the fact than men lose their sanity during their 40s (poor things) ! LOL
Of course, I don’ wanna forget the influence of the West on our thoughts – media spares no effort to bewilder our values… We see old women getting married to (boys) who are at least a decade younger than them… well, they lead different lives & their values differ..
My question:
Do you think it’s suitable for us Arabs? Do you (girls) mind dating / marrying younger men ? Boys, what do you think?
Girls, we set a day to meet, again - if you’re up to that & would like to join, send me an email to inform you of the date & place..
October 13th, 2007 at
I would never go for a younger guy.. but I don’t agree with the idea of minimum 5 years. I don’t mind same age or a year older..
October 13th, 2007 at
Noooo good same age! He’ll drive you crazy! You’ll be play mates! you should have a mature man, who will take care of you & absorb your thinking & personality
October 13th, 2007 at
Im extremely against it.. i feel she has to be with a guy a few years older for him to be on her “page” in life.. coz if they are at the same age they are at different places in life, want different things. Woman mature earlier. I know 2 woman who married guys 5 years younger than them, both men are millionaires with multi millions in inheritence :) One divorced in less than a year, the other is putting on a “fake” happy face but it shows all over that she has no self esteem anymore.. she doesnt even eat anymore.. her husband is rude and wayd eqe6ha bil wayh (not to mention mama’s boy) .. and many many things that need a huge post by themselves:P
October 13th, 2007 at
ages doesn’t really determine man’s maturity. I know men who are in their late 20’s but still act like 13 LOL.
I’ve never dated a guy my age and I don’t I’ll ever try that! older men attract me more ;)
P.S: you got some taste in music :p
October 13th, 2007 at
well as Noufa said ages does not determine men’s and woman’s maturity.. And I am against the dating idea.. I think its harm woman’s more than men’s..
for gurls I prefer fatrat kh6oba.. its much better for them..
October 13th, 2007 at
marriage ;\
October 13th, 2007 at
Kuwaitizen:
LOL ;P
October 13th, 2007 at
- Yara, that’s sad to hear; YOu should write one then ;) like we agreed haa!
- Noufa, :) Thanks for the final not.. as for age, yes some girls - even boys seem to never grow up & that’s not the basic factor to determine if a person is “marriage material” bas old is gold :P
- Dalooom yes, engagement is important for both - yalla “3ao2balak” :P
- Kuwaitizen: enta awwal wa7ed you should get married! LOL - that’s for Noufa! hehehe
October 13th, 2007 at
lazem he’s bigger :P
October 13th, 2007 at
Minimum 4 years difference. Getting married to someone younger means double the effort of making the realtionship work. Elfal lena kelena:)
October 13th, 2007 at
It’s the way of thinking that matters and the age and years ..
Bs still, i will never go for some one younger ..
In my age and above bssssssss … and don’t ask why because i have nothing to justify it!
October 13th, 2007 at
I don’t know what Ashton Kutcher would say … , i married a woman 3 years younger to me , but i would have married her even if she was 10 years elder to me , because i love her , so as long as ‘the love’ is there and ‘God is the binding factor’ [ yep God is a must] every marriage should last …. i dont think age should matter .
Marriage is about sacrifies , sad ! we dont see that anymore…
October 14th, 2007 at
Chika lazm tetzawjain withen the next 2 weeks. 7altich 9a3ba basich topics 3an el zwaj la tn7seen 3omrich !
October 14th, 2007 at
People still get married?
October 14th, 2007 at
- Mishref: You think!? Yeah maybe, maybe not! :) - thanks for the brotherly tip though
& I won’t answer YOU
October 14th, 2007 at
Will someone please marry Chikapappi already? :O
October 14th, 2007 at
am gonna kill you LOL!
October 14th, 2007 at
Guys, you’re all not answering the question - someone running away o diverting things huh! ANSWER!
October 14th, 2007 at
The Prophet (PBUH) married an older woman.
October 14th, 2007 at
You can never compare Sayedna Mohammed PBUH to any man in our time- NEVER will be a man like him - yes he did marry Sayyeda Khadeeja (radeya allah 3annha) and it was perfect YET, if you go propose to a family of a woman who’s older than you, do you think they’ll agree?!
October 14th, 2007 at
No I wanna marry an innocent cute gurl that has the kindest heart ever with the most honest smile you could ever find. These conditions mainly apply for a youg inexperienced clear minded 17-19 years old girls.
At least thats how I picture that age group?!
October 14th, 2007 at
Mishref: innocent + cute + kind heart + honest smile + young!?!
Good luck buddy! REALITY CHECK buddy!!!
*remembers* shit! Sorry that wasn’t for you..
Ok, let your mother do that for you since good girls supposidly don’t go out of their houses :) am sure there’s this special someone for you out there :) o every person has his - her set of standards
October 14th, 2007 at
LoL the best comment was “People still get married ?” by Purgatory.
I think the age thing matters more to women than men, I dont know women seem obsessed with age and numbers. I know some people in my family who married younger men like 1 or 4 years younger and they are fine.. and I know some were asked but they didn’t want a younger man. It really depends.I know I don’t but I can’t say others shouldn’t.
October 14th, 2007 at
?Maybe that’s why guys are not marrying earlier Chicka :P It a difficult searching process that needs time and patients :)
October 14th, 2007 at
I’ll even donate some of the dowry if it’ll make the process any easier! :O
*runs for his life*
October 14th, 2007 at
Ahaa… you were making a point ok! still, good luck :)
- Shayouma HELP - look what they’re doing to me GRRR - As for the Purg, he has his own entire universe & laws …
- 3baid: LOL! You made me laugh so loud! FYI, I offered to pay the dowry ;) - fa thanks won’t be needing your help in that *runs to catch 3baid*
October 14th, 2007 at
I think the basic idea of marrying a guy older to you is coz the ageing process on women is faster than men…..by 50 or 60 you will look almost of same age…otherwise it sucks :P
if age determines maturity…oh well, what a wonderful world!
October 14th, 2007 at
Age don’t matter at all, what you should ask is would you be ok with being wife # 2 ,3 or 4 :P
Who knows maybe someone who’s been there done that is better for ya, don’t get mad just a thought…
Although I would prefer someone younger in age, but that’s not a determinant factor
October 14th, 2007 at
The Prophet Mohammed never took another wife as long as he was married to Khadija . . . she was his partner, his comforter, his encourager and the one he went to when he was overwhelmed. He trusted her and relied upon her, and . . . what a great husband she got in return! It’s a remarkable marriage model.
Marriage is a fey thing - full of wonder and magical moments where you least expect them. Age matters very little when two people love the inner-being, and not the shell.
October 14th, 2007 at
Can’t say it’s suitable because it’s way out of our customs, however, it’s not really that odd for a woman to marry a younger man if they understand each other.
October 14th, 2007 at
If I was a guy, ra7 atzawaj wa7da a9′3ar meni bs ya3ni mo ib wayed. Ya3ni 1-2 years bs. W etha I was a girl, I’d marry wa7d akbar meni haman ib 1-2 years w 6ali3. La2ena I know someone, yegooli inah his wife (akbar menah ib 5 years) eachtime they fight. She calls him, “Yahil.” I wanna avoid hal type min il hoshaat in the future. lol.
October 14th, 2007 at
i think it’s also somewhat tabooo in the west for older women marrying younger men, it only happens to celebs or lonely richie richs, dont forget we have 9aboooo7a ;p
sometimes a small age difference isnt that bad, like someone already said men mature at different ages.
i think the whole idea of men marrying younger women is for her to start having children at an early age, while the guy is older he can provide for the family while traditionaly the wife stayed home, so dont you think when circumstances change the rule should change as well?
October 14th, 2007 at
- CyberRowdy: Well yeah I know it’s better for a woman… imagine that! I wish :)
- Thug: Why is that a good idea!? Pls explain
- Intlxpatr: Yeah I know it’s the commitment & understanding that counts… As for Prophet Mohammed, there will be no other *siiigh*
- Macaholic: Well, yeah as I commented to Intlxpatr…
- Perfectionist: LOL! Poor guy! Well yeah, that’s because probably he acts like a kid :P
- Bored: LOL! La2 I didn’t forget her bas wala wa7da men her marriages lasted! LOL.. poor woman! Yeah a little modification can be inserted to assure continuity of our species! :P bas it’s not taboo anymore, it’s just people aren’t into the idea yet…
October 14th, 2007 at
The logic says no for a good reason. Women get old faster than men. For example, women above 45 is less interested in physical relationship while a man may still seek it after 50. Even when a man marries women younger than him, as she gets a bit old he may start looking for fresh blood again. I’m not discussing is it right or wrong, ethical or not here. So if she is older than him, well you can guess what’s coming.
In special cases, if she is few years older only and they really fit together it could work. A more special case is when a lady I think above 40 married a very young man. She was still virgin and now they have 3 kids and seem to be happy! I can’t believe it, but I’ve seen it. :)
October 14th, 2007 at
“You can never compare Sayedna Mohammed PBUH to any man in our time- NEVER will be a man like him - yes he did marry Sayyeda Khadeeja (radeya allah 3annha) and it was perfect YET, if you go propose to a family of a woman who’s older than you, do you think they’ll agree?!”
When did I compare a normal person to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH)? The question you asked was if it was acceptable for an older woman to marry a younger man in Arab society. Instead of a long, drawn out response full of redundancies, I answered your question in one sentence. Think about it.
October 14th, 2007 at
kaaaakh
October 14th, 2007 at
Chika found someone younger than her age!!! :D
OMG well according to me I don’t think age matters to me as long as I feel we have the same way of thinking!
October 14th, 2007 at
older 6ab3an … 10 to 14 yrs in perfect for me =p
October 14th, 2007 at
:0 - HOLLY GOD! I didn’t find anyone wala want anyone! YUKH! Men suck! *pukes*
PEOPLE! It’s not about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :@ kaaaaaaakh!
I want a 99 years old man, ok! :P
October 14th, 2007 at
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL 99!! u mean a dead man =[
October 14th, 2007 at
Reglo o el2br! bs yekon mnattaf so no one sez am a golddigger - bas i make someone happy then he dies :D
October 14th, 2007 at
“I wanna get married, I’m bored, I’m hungry, I’m in a bad mode, I’m getting older, people don’t love me” …… bla bla bla
OK girl listen!
Setting here writing about marriage and complaining wouldn’t solve your problem, not to mention torturing your poor pets . My advice is to stop blogging for awhile. get your gears ready! and go out hunting for your trophy MAN. Oh yeah!… life sucks..if you want something you need to go out and get it. your dad won’t buy you one … not this time !
:)
October 14th, 2007 at
chikooo:
khleteni ams a7alem eni kh6abt ;(((((((((( look what exactly happened:
6ab3en bel7elm ;P ”my mom asking me ha jhazt she`3lik 7aq il3ers 7jazt 9ala??
me: @@ haaa ana ? shno meta kh6abt
mam: shfeek daloom ! ent 7an 3ley lma khleitni akh6ebha she said her name and her family name!! and u paid il mahar!
me: aqooool ur joking walla !!
mam: then she bring her photo!!!!!
me: @@ LOOKING bel9ora.. be`6a mo met7ajba sh3erha q9er her noise is BIG “e6wel” =/
me: ma abehaaaaa `3a9eb ya3ni a9lan ana ma a3erfhaa, shloon akheth wa7da ana ma a3erfha ella bel9ora.. ”
bas ga3dt men ilnooom my cellphone z ringing :\\\\\\\
shno ya3nii ??????????
October 14th, 2007 at
I’m tottaly against the idea of women marrying younger boys, it’ll only make them look older ;)
But the appossite situation is quite acceptable, girls marrying men +10 years older, 3ala el aqal yedle3ha :)
October 14th, 2007 at
Ok! Why are you so upset about my blogging & posts?! If you don’t like what am writing simply don’t read :) This is my personal journal - am not writing for YOU, HIM or Her, this is my space - “juice” of my mind - I like what I write - negative or positive & one day I’ll read this & laugh …
So, thanks for stopping by, see ya again ;)
October 14th, 2007 at
Upset! I don’t no what you mean. I’m not upset at all. I’m just giving you a piece of advice take it or leave it .. it’s up to you
I just don’t want you to learn the hard way!
BTW.. it has nothing to do with you or your posts … I’m grumpy in real life. so … live with it.
:)
October 14th, 2007 at
Well, this explains the attitude! I am not married to you, so why should I take it!?
October 14th, 2007 at
you wish :)
October 14th, 2007 at
LOL! I dun’ wanna brag - I know what & who I am, so you wish :P
P.S: I respect you too & I know you be jokin’ & messin’ around kid :)
October 14th, 2007 at
Chika,
To clarify- I have great respect for you and your writing and I wasn’t upset it’s just my “black sarcasm” if you could say … Seriously though - keep up the great work.
_R
October 14th, 2007 at
WTF … “kid” you said ! “Oh Thank you!”
I’m deeply offended, I can’t believe I thought I was falling in love with you. LoooooooooooooL
October 14th, 2007 at
*wiggles eyebrows* - 3asham eblees bel ganna :P
October 14th, 2007 at
it was just a thought so he is more experienced or something dunno. and here i thought you write for me :P
October 14th, 2007 at
TAT - I specified, 99 years old man - with heart disease :) so not you :P - where’s the podcast you & Zombie did?
October 14th, 2007 at
[...] This is in response to the 5ab9a that happened in Chika’s post earlier regarding the marriage topic and specifically to the commentators. Frankly I don’t [...]
October 14th, 2007 at
“This is in response to the 5ab9a that happened in Chika’s post earlier regarding the marriage topic and specifically to the commentators. Frankly I don’t see anything wrong with girls posting about marriage 10 times a day if they wish to. It’s human nature they…”
http://peachpies.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/girlboy-delimma/
October 14th, 2007 at
OK, that’s it- I’m officially angry now! hope you’re happy.
I always wanted to ask you this - Do you …. …. may be I’ll ask this question when the right moment comes.
I’m off to the library to study. I hate school …
October 14th, 2007 at
… Younger than me .. No way, although age doesn’t determine men/women maturity, I still can’t bear the idea of older wives and younger husbands. I don’t mind if he’s 2 years younger but still I wouldn’t tell my kids that there father is younger than me ^_^
October 14th, 2007 at
hmmm which one we did like 8 or something but they gone now well I have a copy but not gonna put them back to much hassle but new podcast comin soon :P wanna join?
October 14th, 2007 at
Hmm… I didn’t know about those before, I wanna check them before & yeah why not!:)
October 14th, 2007 at
I’ll see what I can do be sure to check the new one should be out like next Saturday or Sunday. This time it is with my friends who I knew for like ummm 15+ years no forza or zombie I’m afraid well one of em is a blogger though any subject you want us to cover?
October 15th, 2007 at
I would NEVER date a younger guy! I honestly don’t think we could be on the same level. I feel like they would be so hard to connect with.. like on a majorly different level… Honestly, I feel that way about most guys, but I feel like with a younger guy it would be even worse! (Bas ma yindara! Madri shinoo allah katiblee :S… i guess never say never…)
October 15th, 2007 at
- Dalooom: Means you’re getting married :P
- Zia , Chroma & all your girls, Yes it is better with an older guy - we all know why ;)
- Tat: mo you should tell me where are they awwal! I wanna listen to some of them! As for the subject, dunno…
October 15th, 2007 at
(linked on here from some rebellous Arab girls page)These rants are actually more entertaining then studying (like I should be), please allow me to submit my two cents…. it’s better with a older women (trust me on this) not that I’m against younger women… by any means. From my perspective (western, still single) but once you move past the Norm, things get so much more interesting.
October 15th, 2007 at
Hi David, yeah I know that “new” things are more luring & if you break rules things could get nice n’ fun! But in the Arab world, people don’t look at ot that way - a woman is “expired” if she’s not married by her mid twenties..
as a woman, I’d like an older man - mature yet fun loving, someone who I can connect with without losing my spirit..
October 15th, 2007 at
OLA!
i missed out on all the fun!
would i marry a younger guy?
well it depends on how old I am
ya3ne im 22 now, im not going to marry a 17 year old guy
bs if im 32, then yeah i don’t see marrying a guy 2-3 years younger is a major thing!
but i would prefer an older man.
October 15th, 2007 at
hmmm i dont give much value to age to be honest … it all depends on the maturity of the person .. u could find a lady at the age of 40 but still acting like kid and same for man ..
and for me .. i would like to go for simmilar age group .. i dont want to raise any one :)i barely raised my self
October 15th, 2007 at
LOL Sowhat.. I know, but some guys actually would rather take a young girl to raise her up - his style :)
October 15th, 2007 at
whatever rows your boat is good…
this is one thing where culture should get the hell out of here.
October 15th, 2007 at
you think? how are you supposed to keep culture out of it?!