Polygamy
Bohooo!! So Opera’s rerun on MBC4 tonight was discussing Polygamy
She makes it sound like it’s taboo, a crime against humanity & women in particular! Ok, I understand where that comes from since she’s not Muslim nor an Arab to make it more clear – I don’t know if Christian Arabs can have more than one wife someone pls correct me..
She pissed me off… “abnormal, jealousy, cult …” some of the words that she mentioned during her show & the idiots she had on the show didn’t know how to explain it….
You see, although I take this feminist issue seriously but as a woman, this idea crossed my mind many times, should there be a situation in the “Near far” future that required my husband marrying another woman, I would accept – when I say that I mean when am sick with an incurable disease & on my dying bed bas that doesn’t make a man bad! I’ve seen many families that have this & they live just fine…
Opera, Polygamy doesn’t mean having a threesome or more :$ I would like to also note that you didn’t talk about the pros of such marriages – there are benefits to polygamy, just think of those poor kids born to be left on streets & women taking stripping as a career path to be able to live… tsk tsk tsk…
December 1st, 2007 at
So if you were sick and dying on your bed then its okay for your husband to be with someone else. So why is it when he gets sick you will stick around and make sure he gets better?
December 1st, 2007 at
i hate opera and everything she stands for, that racist ……
December 1st, 2007 at
Yes, to me polygamy is a crime against humanity and women. Polygamy is NOT an answer for these women in the streets. If I am sick and dying, the last thing I need is my man marrying another woman and spending time with her, because if he was dying I would probably be by his f*cking side.
I can’t think of any pro’s for polygamy, but many, many cons.
December 1st, 2007 at
yes of course I will Hassan, if he’s a good man ONLY..
December 1st, 2007 at
In the US, Polygamy is looked at as sodomy, incest and rape!
I’m not saying I agree with that. But equating polygamy with these things is just plain wrong. Funny, and hypocritical how polygamy is NOT OK while homosexuality is fine! (Oh and polygamy is Abnormal)
It’s just like Cousins marrying over here in the US, it’s frowned upon
Another example of the stupidity of applying one moral value-set on a different culture. In this case, Christianity to everyone else!
December 1st, 2007 at
Arab Christians cannot take more than one wife.
Oprah is not a Christian, btw, it’s Oprah’s own values she is ”espousing”. She lives with a guy, I don’t know if she has ever married.
December 1st, 2007 at
Thanks Kinzi.. I don’t think she was ever married & yes she’s still living with that dude.. forgot his name so yes basically she brain washes people on TV.. I don’t like her :/
December 1st, 2007 at
im not going to comment on the main issue which is polygamy ..
BUT ..
Oprah .. this is an example of giving someone who doesnt know anything about anything an importance .. and a successful show .. which she has millions of people working day and night just to make everyone watch this show .. i used to watch it but when i knew what she was aming for .. i forgot about it and just flip the channel when she is on ..
you know what her goal is ..
1.make the show most fun and entertaining as much as i can .
2.get as many watchers as i can.
3.when everyone loves me then i will force what i think infront of their faces and make them watch .
so sad when you give power to such kind of people .. the power of fame.!! “shame”
now its easy for anyone to sit on a couch and get some i dont know who experts and blah blah about a subject and then i say what i think about it .. is she doing a hard job ??
i am so sorry for this long comment ..
December 2nd, 2007 at
la bel3aks its not.. I used to watch her all the time, There were a coupla episodes that just made me flip on her.. i just don’t like her nymore & I ain’t buyin’ what she’s saying no sir!
December 2nd, 2007 at
You cannot legally marry more than one person in Canada. Most Arabs who want to do that go back home and do such things. As for polygamy, one thing that many people here would say and I frankly agree with them is the following:
“We can’t handle one women! Why have more?”
loool
Oh man.. As for Opera.. I am not a fan of her.. I don’t find her show enlightning in any way or form.
December 2nd, 2007 at
While it may seem taboo-ish in other cultures, you have to keep in mind that they don’t even know half of the polygamy rules in Islam.
For instance, you don’t play favorites. You buy one a car? You damn better buy the other wife a car.
Also, keep in mind that this was almost essential back in ancient times because in some battles, many men never return. That really skews the ratio.
It’s far less common nowadays though, so heck :) I personally don’t know of any.
December 2nd, 2007 at
Enigma — ittaqillaah fee nafsech. Indeed the woman who has allowed her emotions and desires to rule over her and cloud her judgment will be hard-pressed to accept and understand the Wisdom of Allaah Ta’aalah. Know this: no matter what the watered down men of today tell you, man – by nature – is polygamous.
But there is no need to get into that now. On to the benefits and its uses: in most societies, women outnumber men. Meaning: if every one man and woman married, there will always be a remainder of women who will be unmarried. In the Arab countries, where un-Islaamic notions still remain, the divorced woman and the one who has never married, but is past the age she is expected to have been married by — these woman are not considered as suitable for marriage.
If I am married, and I am able to support such women, and these women are willing to marry me, should I not marry them so that they may enjoy the joys and comforts of married life? And what if the women I marry is barren, infertile: should I not marry a woman who can bear children, simply because my own wife may feel jealous? In fact, it is from her fitra to feel jealous.
And it is well known that the energy of the man exceeds that of the woman. Any studies that say otherwise are only short-term in the duration of their research, at best, and as such cannot be considered as being weighty in their results. To proceed: so the urge of the man is greater than that of the woman; so because the man is unable to satisfy himself with her, should he stay that way simply because her feelings will be hurt, when Allaah ‘Azza wa Jal has already given him a way out? And that way out is the option of marrying another.
Of course, the main reason why it is fine to indulge in, is because Allaah Jalla wa ‘Alaa said so. Also, take the following into consideration: the best women, the Mothers of the Believers — the wives of the Nabi SallAllaahu ‘Alayhi wa-Sallam ALL felt jealous. There are numerous ahaadeeth were ‘Aaa’isha RadhiAllaahu ‘Anhaa spoke of her jealousy of Khadeeja RadhiAllaahu ‘Anha. Yet they NEVER complained about sharing the Nabi SallAllaahu ‘Alayhi wa-Sallam.
Now take a look at yourselves. You women who are so attached to this worthless Dunya, how unaware you are of what is truly right and wrong. The women of today are nothing in comparison to the Mothers of the Believers, RadhiAllaahu ‘Anhumaa, yet here you are complaining about something that Allaah Himself said is permissible; here you are saying there are no benefits to it, and that it has no value. A’oothu Billaah.
Minoo entaw? Allaah Yahdeekum. The views you present are simply a result of you having loved and idolized the kuffaar, and you have done this to the extent that you only agree with what their nations find agreeable; and if their nations find what our Deen regards as permissible to be impermissible, you agree with them on this. Subhaan Allaah.
December 2nd, 2007 at
well if you look at people as anything other than a procreation machines then there really isn’t any other reason to have polygamy.
oh oh ! and if you happen to be some damaged good then you are not worthy to be one, how wonderful…
as for polygamy well in a sense its allowed in the states in certain sect of Christianity so yeah they have their own rules to that
but then again why bother talking reason when there is tumescent sensationalism
ENJOY!
December 2nd, 2007 at
okkk! Am taking a step back on this guys! I really wish people don’t offend each other while commenting :/ my view on this is clear..
December 2nd, 2007 at
i hated Oprah … from an incident in an episode.
a Young girl was sitting as a spectator in Oprah’s show, So Oprah asked her, “What will you be , when you grow up?” .. the Girl was spontaneous , ” i want to be like you, oprah”
To which oprah was like “you will never be like me, so dont think about it.”
i was like WTF!!!!, here someone looks at you as a role model and you outright turn her down!!!!…
December 2nd, 2007 at
They said everything I wanted to said. =P
I HATE HATE HATE Oprah! :@
December 2nd, 2007 at
Bam, the Mormons are not a Christian sect. They believe in another prophet, Joseph Smith (American, yea) who discovered a lost holy text in a field that could only be read by him when he had on magic golden spectacle.
They believe all of us become gods, and if we are baptized in the Mormon church, will go on to be kings of our own planets. It’s bad news for women, as our eternal place is to be perpetually pregnant. Sounds like hell to me.
December 2nd, 2007 at
Hasan lol I wish more men think this way!
December 2nd, 2007 at
Kinzi, regardless of how nutty what they believe in seems (hey that doesn’t sound much different than the rest in my view to be honest) it doesn’t make them any less Christian. just like the catholics don’t see the protestants as christian or the eastern orthodox, or the Jehova’s witness … so yeah i think they are Christians even tho its a controversial categorization so i’ll give u that much
December 2nd, 2007 at
Ok…
So about Oprah, I used to like her verrry much… her show was such a nice one… but now, with her ‘what not to wear’, and ‘make over’, and ‘taboo’ episodes, she is swimming in a sea of redicule… but yet, mshan el wa7ad ye7ki eli 2elo welli 3aleeh, she has her own way of being fair and giving space for the other point of view…
And about Polygamy…
I am 100% AGAINST polygamy ecxept in very rare critical conditions and in controlled amounts… 2mma el 2asel enno kol rajol yektafi bzawjeh wa7deh… and a FAIR and JUST review of the Polygamy verse in Surat al Nisa2 tells clearly that this is true… Provided that one reads the verse FROM THE BEGINNING and does not inturrupt it and takes the full meaning… it is then clear that polygamy is allowed ONLY in the case of raising orphans… and provided that one is FAIR… and even in this special circumstance and under this condition if JUSTICE is not applied between multiple wives it is 7ARAM…
this is if we speak about the Quranic evidence…
And if any one calculates it with pencil and paper it will be more evident… just calculate the odds :-)
December 2nd, 2007 at
Kinzi reminded me of the Southpark episode, “Dum dum dum dum dum..” hehe.
December 2nd, 2007 at
Well as painful for any woman to admit, polygamy is a part of a the solution for many problems we have in our society these days, some great women don’t have a husband and thus don’t enjoy the stability of marriage just because they passed a certain age or failed in a previous marriage ! as I agree that FAIR and capable men should take more than one wife, in that not seeking 18 year old girls, but helping widows raise their children or marring ladies that are over 35. I cannot myself imagine my husband marring another woman. I say I may not be able to take it, but does not mean it’s wrong.
December 2nd, 2007 at
Bam, here I go again. :) I know I am a pain :D
Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants all believe in the same basic doctrine, can say the Nicene & Apostles Creeds w/o a problem. Catholics consider us Protestants a sect, as in section of the Christian faith, although they arent’ too happy about us.
Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons do NOT subscribe to that common denominator of doctrine, and are not even a sect of Christianity. We consider them a cult, not a sect, and there is a big difference.
December 2nd, 2007 at
while I am being a rebel, I want to go on record saying that I think polygamy is a bad deal for women.
A man can provide financially equally for more than one wife, but if there are ever more than two in the equation, there is no chance for the kind of intimacy that is one of the greatest delights of marriage.
Wife number one will always wonder when the time comes she will be usurped. She will wonder if she can truly speak her mind, offering the kind of loving correction he needs to ( I can’t see teh commetn anymore! AGH!)
December 2nd, 2007 at
…or will he decide he would rather have a newer toy to play with. Instead of staying in a conflict until it is resolved, he can run over to #2. Wife number one is left to sleep alone, and when he does come to her for ‘her turn’ she knows he’s thinking of the other wife and how she doesnt’ measure up.
As far as more women than men, let families support them without needing another marriage! Single women have changed the world by putting all their energies into social issues married women don’t have time for.
December 2nd, 2007 at
YES THANK YOU! :* Single for LIFFFFFFFFFFE!
December 2nd, 2007 at
hehe kinzi you know i like this type of argument so its a pleasure.
yes i do see it that way that none of the catholics, orthodox or protestants see those and other denominations of Christianity as anything beyond cults.
I am speak more of a consensus, statistical and observatory point of view that those are considered sects and part of the whole xtian population in general regardless of the level of contempt one group holds for the other. the same applies to islam there are a lot of sects that are considered anything but muslim(eg. drooz) but fall under the same umbrella. taking one sects point of view regarding that issue is to place injustice on the other. so as long as they drew their rituals from a specific religion they fall under it regardless of how out of touch it is with the core tenants. you get what am trying to say ? and sorry chika for digressing but that was interesting to me :P
December 2nd, 2007 at
:)
December 2nd, 2007 at
Chika, hang in there, there ARE good men…just think someone a little closer to your age who has the same core values you do. Some even consider our brains just as important as our boobs and butts.
BUT, heh-heh, just about the point you say “Single For Life”, somehow the guy shows up.
Bam, I know what you mean. With Islam, I consider Sunni, Shiá and Sufi
December 2nd, 2007 at
…as sects of Islam, but Druze, Alawite and Nation of Islam as cults.
It isn’t so much the ritual that has emerged that is the delineating factor, but what of the core value that has been removed in order to allow for the additional ritual/doctrine.
always fun to banter religion with you, BamBam, thanks for allowing us, Chicka!
December 3rd, 2007 at
Personally I’d rather be married to someone I consider to be my best friend first, lover second. But Polygamy who’s hurting??? unless it’s a teenage girl forced into the marriage… who cares? In Canada here polygamy is Taboo worse then homosexual marriage, it’s kind of stupid actually. Princess Haya of Jordan Probably one of the most well rounded and educated females on this planet is playing second wife to that Shiek (grand-pooba honcho) of UAE.
–little joke* I remember of my Middle Eastern History class
back in the days of the Ottoman Empire… the Ottoman ambassador’s wife from Instanbul was at a state dinner function in Paris was asked by a snotty Paris diplomats wife what is was like to have to share her husband who had two wives; the Ottoman Wife politely replied “I’m fine with it, how do you like your husbands mistress?”
December 3rd, 2007 at
well opera .. polygamy with sharaf .. better than 3anis with whoreness!
December 3rd, 2007 at
Wow, you go to Dubai for a couple of days and the whole world goes mad cos of Oprah!
Personally I have issues with men that have fidelity issues so I would personally castrate any man who suggested taking a second wife whilst still married to me but it seems to work for some people in this neck of the woods.
I kind of think that all things being equal why should a woman not be able to take more than one husband too? ( Ha ha ha, I am having enough problems finding one!!)
Peace
Pinky!
December 3rd, 2007 at
I can understand where you’re coming from, it’s better than getting a divorce but there are rules
December 6th, 2007 at
I am against polygamy, and Christianity does NOT allow it. However i have one questione to the commenter who said that it is an answer to the issue with women out numbering men.. i hate it when people just state facts like that, give us numbers or a study to prove that.
the number of females is going way down since a lot of cultures have gender based abortions such as India and China.
God created Adam and Eve, he didn’t create Eve2, 3 and 4.
Polygamy MAY have been an answer back in time when cultures where not as open and there were no international marriages going on to balance the difference in numbers when war was taking place.
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