Voices in my head
Marriage….
I was thinking of that yesterday… Why do people now get married?? Is it just to end up divorced? I know you won’t say that’s not the case most of the time and some marriages end up ok but I am not a believer any more… SUE ME!
I’ve noticed that people go in & out of relations as if they’re changing outfits which is not sound to me, I mean that means they ain’t stable neither ready for commitment which is fine if it suits them. I am just against the whole concept “The fairy tale” relation still exists in my stupid brain of mine!
My conclusion: People get married because they get lonely sometimes and then they bump into someone and have this urge / need to be with them… It’s not the physical thing only bas some people truly feel lonely and it makes them feel good if they have that significant other to rely on and feel comfortable with… I think I fit that category but I learned not to let my emotions take control and lead me… It’s bad enough being a female add to that this “let my heart decide” feature :$
Few years down the line, people won’t be getting married at all.. mark my word!
Proper song to explain how I am feeling:
Regina Spektor’s Fidelity
I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall
All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better
I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music
Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart
January 29th, 2008 at
and if I was in love?
January 29th, 2008 at
I want to get married because I don’t involve in relations that are against my “moral standards”. I want to get married to share and enjoy life with someone “I can love”. I want to get married because I need sincere feelings and passion
January 29th, 2008 at
Frankly what I have heard from a lot if girls is:
” I wanna get married cause I want….no I need…to have sex!”
otherwise they want kids.
January 29th, 2008 at
love love love love!!! eh!! Plsssssss!! Half of the screwed up marriages started as love stories!
January 29th, 2008 at
ok then…just marry someone you dont know..you never met…and tell me how it goes ;)
January 29th, 2008 at
When marriage is a commitment to love and respect, a promise given, each spouse makes that choice in the little things that makes marriage vows livable and enjoyable. When each is sacrificing for the good of the other, a level of maturity of character is reached that goes WAY beyond the silly self-centeredness of fairy-tale/film/music ‘love’.
Take heart, Chika, and prepare your heart to be the kind that love extravagent-ly. For my husband and I, with faith in Christ as our common ground, we have found marriage an amazing synergy of love.
January 29th, 2008 at
not not about falling foolishly in love, it’s not about ending up divorce, it’s a million things all together that gives it a meaning.
i don’t want to over simplify things, but when you thing about it, yeah, i don’t wanna grow old all by myself, i wanna be with someone, who can take care of, share my life with, when i spend one day by myself o go nuts, can you imagine growing old just you and your cat?? i can’t, i wanna have kids, raise them well, and be proud of them :)
look at the full half of the cup Chika.. come on!! :D allah y5aleeki :)
January 29th, 2008 at
Ok, first of all.. New theme! Cool!
Now as for the subject of marriage, what you said might be true in the Western World, I do sometimes think why do people there get married? I mean, they’ll live together and have intercourse and even have kids outside the wedlock of marriage, so why get married? and then comes the now obsolete wedding vows, till death do us part! really? what happened to that?
Anyways, marriage is tricky business, its a commitment, the truest form of a commitment one could ever take, it should be well calculated and thought of, not just based on a whim or a mere feeling of attraction. choosing a life partner is a process that involves many factors, you have to know the person who is going to share you life and become an essential part of it.
And you know, in this age of the internet, we see many relationships being formed online, sometimes a person might think he likes another person, just by the way he writes on his blog or through some sort of chat medium, they might even convince themselves that they’ve fallen in love with that person, and try to impose themselves on that person up to the point that it becomes a form of harassment. in which case it is better to end this imaginary relationship quickly before it becomes a real problem. before they get involved in something and realize later it was a big waste of time. I mean, I don’t know of many people who have known each other online and then got married without getting to know each other in real life, I mean really getting to know each other and spending considerable amount of time with each other, and in most cases one will know from the first of the second meeting that this person is true or not, online and offline personalities in most cases are not the same at all! and sometimes a person might even try to fake it. so one should be careful.
And then there is the issue of love. this also is tricky, love isn’t everything, I mean, I’m not saying that love isn’t necessary or that people should not marry bases on feelings of love only, but love isn’t everything, its only a part of the equation. what happens with many cases of marriages that are only bases on feelings of love, is that love after marriage begins to fade, whereas it should grow and evolve. when getting married you have to consider all the factors not just love, consider if this person is good for you on the love run, how his temper is and how it will be in years. will this marriage be practical on the long run, would I marry this person for the qualities he has even if did not love him in a romantic sense? sometimes that could be true. Just look at our grandfathers and grandmothers, many of them had arranged marriages, many did not know each other before marriage, yet they married and live a long happy life for years and years and years, these days this is not true, people laugh at arranged marriages and marriages that are not bases firstly on “love”! but as I said, that does not mean that love is not necessary, Love if present is a good thing, but all other factors should be considered equally.
Ok… this is turning out to be one hell of a long comment so I’m just going to stop now :P
January 29th, 2008 at
@@ !! Wow!
January 29th, 2008 at
I don’t know how to say it but it’s more than a physical need or being lonely.. it’s bigger than all of this. Marriage means stability, it gives you a solid ground to stand on, it brings out the best in you.. and it makes you believe in yourself and your dreams. It’s another world.. it’s sharing a life together, and it’s everything but in double.. so it’s double the joy, fun and happiness in whatever you do!
January 29th, 2008 at
whats wrong with divorce?
January 29th, 2008 at
Divorce can be the only solution to many devastating marriages gone wrong bas my point is, never get into marriage if you have doubts that things won’t work or if partners are not compatible and do not tell me it doesn’t show from beginning! It does, some people just do not get the signs
January 29th, 2008 at
Bakkouz,
hats off my wise friend.
January 29th, 2008 at
hmmm your post is making me think
January 29th, 2008 at
Bakkouz… WOW!! O_o kol had?
LOL Chika 3le2ti sheklek :D !!
January 29th, 2008 at
ME!? Stuck! LOL never! I’d admit if that was the case, I am just reading the comments slowly. The “late” Bakouz is somewhat right but I already told him that it’s the way I think and as for marriage, I still did not meet my equal.. the person that knows how to “tame” me.. so till then, I am on strike!
January 29th, 2008 at
people get married for many reasons…one for sure is to fulfill their physical and emotional needs, nothing wrong with that at all…it is only natural. but to stay in a marriage it takes some work, depends on the couple, some work hard at it others it is a breeze.
marriage is a great blessing. having kids is wonderful, to have an extension of you and your partner is indescribable, to be with the one you want/desire that fulfills your every need, by the same token, you do the same thing for him too!
i wish you find “The ONE” soon- even if you say you do not want to!!- it is pretty lonely when you are old and have no life partner!
January 29th, 2008 at
Hey :)
Voices in my head all day :D
come on lady why u make it that hard ?? u know i dont believe that much in love ,and for me now all what happen to me in 48 hour’s ,and so far its going gr8 , its about how u deal with it not how it happen
For me reasons is:
Family (responsibility) am take care of my Family (mum and sis) but its not Mine i spend time power …etc why not spend it on something FOR ME my OWN fmaily
Someone next to me share me EVERY thing ,back tired at home find a nice face waiting me with one word can take all this tired and make me smile
Kids hold my name , pray for me after die ..etc
i’m the lonely son of my family so i have too you know as Qabbani family too, the name of fmaily …blah blah
not to be in Haram too things become more complicated me not iron
you know if every one Think SOO DEEP in marriage they will scare and not go any positive step to it
that’s why u think about it ENOUGH not too much , don’t think how going to feed the kids , how going to make him happy …etc its LIFE normal things just let it go on and u see
there’s no PERFECT marriage its all about U how u can manage it deal with it like any Project in life
January 29th, 2008 at
I’m all for long, meaningful, marriage-less relationships :D
Marriage is so overrated. you can be happy and fulfilled without that peace of paper.
bakkouz: LOL that’s a post not comment :P
love the new theme Chika ;)
January 29th, 2008 at
Ok… let me make this easier, since I am “old”, am I obliged to settle for any “uncertain” man and make things work as someone told me ;) ?! rather dying alone and lonely :$
January 29th, 2008 at
I am distrustful of marriage but I can’t wait to meet the person that will change my mind towards it! I still have hope!
January 29th, 2008 at
Hang in there woman! I am sure that day will come… soon?! or maybe not! that doesn’t degrade us as women but it is surely worth waiting for..
January 29th, 2008 at
Marriage. What marriage??! Does not exist to me. I don’t see myself getting married. Wala I wanna get married. I have already planned everything w how I wanna live my life by myself. :]
January 29th, 2008 at
?well marriage is not all roses you know.. there are ups and downs.. it’s how marriage is, good days bad days..
As for divorce, sometimes it’s the best and sometimes couples don’t try hard enough.. but I can’t judge anyone, I don’t know what happens in the house..
The only thing I don’t like is when the society looks at the women in a disaproving look if she isn’t married and men it’s ok.. but that is another topic lol!
January 29th, 2008 at
almost did that mistake! phew… that was a close one!
January 29th, 2008 at
Marriage will continue and the fact that more people are getting a divorce nowadays won’t change it.
AND close the tag!
January 29th, 2008 at
I won’t talk for anyone else, because i heard many twisted reasons for getting married,, but to me marriage is both about starting a family and the sex thing. A lot of people get married just for the sex then realize it wasn’t worth it.. Since I am not ready to start a family then sex can wait!
January 29th, 2008 at
My conclusion : You are crazy , only medicine i will prescribe you is marriage itself, You don’t get married to get divorced , and even if you did, nothing wrong with it, sometimes shit happens. You have no idea what is it to rely on the significant other,
And yeah ! Marriage gives unlimited access to great sex. Nothing like it.
Marriage can wait? You are crazy …Pagal.
January 29th, 2008 at
Some people shouldn’t get married :S
I’ve had three longer terms relationships and lived with these (so called) men before I met my husband.
I’m glad, I did NOT get married to any of them.
But I am also glad that I made those experiences.
January 29th, 2008 at
at least you got positive thoughts coming from the voices in your head
January 30th, 2008 at
Marriage protects us from sin in a way. Alzawaj sinat alhayat oo nos eldeen, Allah knows better than us.
February 1st, 2008 at
you thought about marriage.. haha! =)