“Beauty is in the eye of its beholder”
Not necessarily the saying I believe in.. it’s so cliche now to me; Take one look at the girls “roaming” the streets and you would see that the guys that go after looks target every single one of them.. I mean, it’s not like “Wow! She is “pretty” I would like to marry her” it’s more like “yalla, let me try my luck with her as with many others!”
It’s nothing appreciated anymore.. Any girl could be beautiful! Right makeup… tight outfits and some fancy car and she’s the queen..
Do not tell me “manners” make a girl pretty and that it comes from the inside for I really do believe that there is a monster inside each and every single girl of us when required… Hejab or no Hejab, that doesn’t also mean that the covered one is more righteous not necessarily taking off the blame / sin of not being covered.
What triggered this? A colleague of mine was telling us this morning that she wants me and another girl at work to teach her to put on the hejab which is great actually then she sat next to me talking about her sisters who are all hejabis and then she told me about her sister.
That sister is married to this man who is “FREE”, meaning he likes / enjoys / feels proud seeing her walk semi naked. Wearing sleeveless or shorts is a definite yes to him. So one day that sister walks in with full proper hejab, she shocked her family especially her husband who fought alot with her to take it off!!
Convo. shifted from that to her brother who sez it’s important for a girl to have “Theee Body” in order to be categorized as beautiful! So no matter how cute her face, feature, god given looks of her NO she has to be slim / fit to attract attention!
In which kind of universe boys like these live in?! I mean seriously!! Discard any other vital element to pick a partner (I won’t say a wife) and focus on the body! Any dimwit would tell you that this body is not ever lasting in its perfect condition! With all the crap that we go through, a woman has to work hard to keep up..
So, I was self conscious the rest of the time especially at the gym because I wondered… If I was obese, would people really neglect or ostracize me!? Just because I carry a couple of unwanted pounds!?
Sorry, this is too shallow and if you (a male reader) is one of those guys, I feel sorry for you.. really!
February 5th, 2008 at
I just can’t understand how people STILL try to pick up chicks in the STREET!
Did that ever worked for ANYONE!? I mean, if you pick up a chick in the street what do you expect?!
I understand 13 year olds doing that, but grown up MEN!?
God! I feel ashamed I’m a man sometimes!
February 5th, 2008 at
A decent woman is a happiness for a man! Atleast thats what our prophet (PBUH) said..
February 5th, 2008 at
SHO2GUUUUN ;)
February 5th, 2008 at
YES I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU INSIDE BEAUTY MY a#$%!!!
February 5th, 2008 at
MEN ARE WEIRD!
peace out ;p
February 5th, 2008 at
Well..I must admit I am a bit shallow when it comes to standards,but most of us are until we implement some real world standards with our own. And that brother of friend speaks for himself,I like kinda chubby chicks..healthier than the very slim ones..so u see each got his own personal taste.
February 5th, 2008 at
you are not obese. dimwit.
February 5th, 2008 at
7abeebti chika! i feel sorry for them too, and its their loss! and i reaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy think its only the idiot men who feel this way, ya3ni most of my guy friends arnt like that, but tadreen ya3ni looks do matter in finding a partner in some ways, so madre
February 5th, 2008 at
Beauty IS indeed in the eyes of bla bla.. to me those girls you mentioned are not attractive, they’re attention W#@&$. and would you really like a bunch of those “let me try my luck” guys following you? do u want that kind of attention? are you ready to settle for that kind of man?
as for “it’s important for a girl to have “Theee Body” in order to be categorized as beautiful!” well DUHHHHH he didn’t say cute. he specificaly said BEAUTIFUL. if she’s a cow with a cute face she cannot be considered beautiful!
*didn’t get much sleep, so if i sound like i’m attacking.. sowwy :D * and hey, keep up the great posts :D
February 5th, 2008 at
ah…you should really see my fiance…then you can judge me …i dont wanna judge myself…..
February 5th, 2008 at
I was always slim and tall yet once I gained weight when I was back in college due to excessive eating in front of the TV, yet when I started hearing the comments that I was chubby (IT HIT ME) so for 2 weeks I ate nothing but 1 boiled egg a day and a small bowl of salad, I starved my self yet I had no appetite to eat anyways remembering how I look in clothes , so I turned back slim within 2 weeks yet my face was yellow and tired, then I began eating healthy steamed vegetables and nothing after 6 except for weekends and I did the same after having my baby cause I don’t want to be the fat wife walking beside my husband in the mall.
February 5th, 2008 at
the missing link..
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com
..pass it on to all who think plastered beauty is the queen
February 5th, 2008 at
a lot of ppl are superficial when it comes to looks..sadly i am one of those ppl :P
i always complain about guys who only go for “the body” and not the whole package but when i think about it “the body” is part of the package..i definitely don’t have the perfect body and i want a man who wants me the way i am and would never ask me to lose weight BUT and i know its hypocritical of me to say this: i can never be attracted to a chubby man..i just can’t do it! go figure :P
February 5th, 2008 at
1. nowadays girls are picky even more than guys
2. you’re not obese
3. guys are not shallow when they look for a certain quality in a girl because it’s their right too, I won’t blame them for that
February 5th, 2008 at
A beautiful body is a sign of fitness and health, which means better child bearing capabilities. This is a biological instinct, it’s not something that men have a much choice about.
When men see a fat woman, no matter how pretty her face is, no matter how good her character is, if their penises say no, then they can’t, simply as that.
So yes, it’s the body that arouses men, not the face.
February 5th, 2008 at
Standards have changed completely now a days… this guy once told me: “3adi 3ndee amoot mn el yoo3 bs ashoof mortee labsa markat” … He doesn’t mind going in debt just so he can see his wife flaunting desinger clothes..?! he just freaked me out even though i love designer clothes.. we have to keep it within the budget yeah… Seriously!!!
February 5th, 2008 at
There have been studies conducted that show that yes, obese people are ostracized and don’t get promoted as often as non-obese people, etc. I have to admit that when I first read this I thought you must be pretty sheltered if you don’t know that many people discriminate on the basis of looks. Yes, it’s shallow but it’s the reality we live in. Just take a look at Hollywood movies, magazines, and the hundreds of beauty products offered to women to make us look better.
February 5th, 2008 at
LOL!! Anonymous Coward! I quote: “So yes, it’s the body that arouses men, not the face.” !!!!
So if a lady is chubby / fat / obese she won’t arouse any sort of man!! Come on!! Certainly every man has his own criteria bas I don’t think that it’s the body man, its not purely physical you know! If there’s no chemistry khalas no matter how “hot” that person is girl / boy it won’t work and it’s not like we are animals.. feelings come first you know.
February 5th, 2008 at
i don`t know how could they think like that they got marry to anygirl with body and free just to show off ambeeh makoo geeerah ????
February 5th, 2008 at
Modesty is one of the key factors in which I get attracted to in a girl. If she does not possess this trait and is one of those girls that ‘everyone likes’ then I don’t feel an attraction. Every now and then I come across a girl that has me go “wow! She is “pretty” I would like to marry her”. But if you think about it, it’s quite a selfish thing to do. Assuming that this is the first time that I’ve seen this ‘pretty’ woman, why would I think that she is someone I would want to spend my life and start a family with?
I know that for a guy (or at least for me); a girl’s appearance is a very potent ‘tool’ in which they can use to sway our minds into doing certain actions or thinking in certain ways. And if we give into their physical allure and start to think of what to name the children that we would have with this person, then it pretty much boils down to the motive behind a guy saying “yalla, let me try my luck with her as with many others!” .
However, I feel that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite gender based on looks, just as long as there are other decent factors involved at some point in time that make you interested in the person. Allah (Sub7ana Wa Ta3ala) blessed us with the concept of beauty and this was intentional and one of His many graces bestowed upon us and thus it should be treated as something noble and sacred.
“It’s nothing appreciated anymore.. Any girl could be beautiful! Right makeup… tight outfits and some fancy car and she’s the queen.” This is something I highly disagree with as there is a difference between lust and beauty.
“Studies have shown that a waist-hip ratio of 0.7 (divide the measurement of the waist by that of the hips) is a key factor in making guys go gaga. This ratio indicates that a woman has a good build for child bearing-a prime candidate for passing on the family name (1). A curvaceous frame triggers an alarm that is deeply programmed within the recesses of a man’s mind.
Psychologists say that women like a man that is very ‘masculine’ looking-with a square jaw, jutting brow, broad shoulders and a strong chest (think of, maybe, the Marlboro man?). These features indicate high levels of testosterone. High levels of testosterone indicate hardiness and resistance to disease (unless he smokes as much as the Marlboro man). Pragmatically, such specifics suggest good breeding material. The part of our brain that we share with our evolutionary ancestors is playing a big role in what we perceive as sexy and desirable.”
Taken from: http://www.queendom.com/articles/articles.htm?a=16 (tried looking for a proper scientific study but alas I could not).
Quite simply put, girls with certain body types attract men because they appear to be healthy and deep down in our biological processes; we believe they will provide good and healthy children, thus spreading our genes in the human gene pool. I will admit that being healthy and in good physical condition is something I find important in terms of attraction. Not only do these women look good but seem to be healthy, but it shows that they have discipline so to speak. What I mean by this is that by constantly keeping in shape, it shows that they are committed in one way or the other and they rise over obstacles. This could be seen as an early indicator on whether or not a particular woman would be proper marriage material and a good mother to their children.
As I mentioned earlier, there is a difference between lust and beauty because as men, we cannot help but feel sexually attracted to certain assets women possess. If a woman decides to “wear the right makeup… wear tight outfits and have some fancy car” this will not make her beautiful but simply an object of carnal desires which is not something a woman (or man) should ever strive to be.
True beauty in a woman is when she can appear before you without make up, messy hair and reeking of a bad perfume or cooking odor and still have your knees buckle over. She possesses a certain charm or charisma that can make you lose many nights of sleep by thinking of her constantly and her great personality is one of the reasons behind her natural magnetism.
“Do not tell me “manners” make a girl pretty and that it comes from the inside for I really do believe that there is a monster inside each and every single girl of us when required… Hejab or no Hejab, that doesn’t also mean that the covered one is more righteous not necessarily taking off the blame / sin of not being covered.”
If what you meant by “manners” is decency and inner beauty, then yes it is one of the essentials in which makes a woman truly beautiful. It may not seem that way but as tiresome as this sounds but you cannot generalize based on the actions of a few. And yes, the ‘hundreds’ of examples that women claim to have witnessed is still considered as a few in contrast to the vast majority of other men that they’ve never come into contact with or ever will in or out of Kuwait.
The same cannot be said for men however who assume that women who wear the Hejab and tight clothes along with it are not really religious because really, are they? They are walking contradictions of themselves for going against the very principles that manifest themselves atop their heads in the form of the Hejab.
“So, I was self conscious the rest of the time especially at the gym because I wondered… If I was obese, would people really neglect or ostracize me!? Just because I carry a couple of unwanted pounds!?”
In today’s world then truthfully and scientifically, yes you most likely will be neglected when it comes to generating attraction from men. It’s an interesting phenomenon because several hundreds of years a go, fat or chubby women were desirable because it showed that they had adequate supplies of food meaning they were wealthy and that they did not have to work or take part in manual labor meaning again that they were wealthy.
“That sister is married to this man who is “FREE”, meaning he likes / enjoys / feels proud seeing her walk semi naked. Wearing sleeveless or shorts is a definite yes to him. So one day that sister walks in with full proper hejab, she shocked her family especially her husband who fought alot with her to take it off!!
Convo. shifted from that to her brother who sez it’s important for a girl to have “Theee Body” in order to be categorized as beautiful! So no matter how cute her face, feature, god given looks of her NO she has to be slim / fit to attract attention!”
Fat or chubby people can have attractive faces because that particular area of the body dosen’t tend to pick up any extra fat. I’m going to assume that both they man and wife are young and new to the whole marriage concept. Quite frankly I’m surprised that he wants to share his wife’s beauty with the world, it’s almost as if he wants to walk her around as if she were a … trophy? However, given time the man time possibly will mature as will his notions and ideas of what beauty really is.
And now I’m late thanks to this post, :P. Also please take all of what I said with a grain of salt, nothing more and nothing less unless you want to.
February 5th, 2008 at
It shall never be about the body!!!!!
bs el zeman a’3baar as they said!
February 5th, 2008 at
Oh my God Chika ! Do some real work !
February 5th, 2008 at
lol well let me speak from my experience beauty is in the eye of the beholder is so true and not a cliche. Me and my friends have very different tastes. One of the guys only cares about if she has a big ass!!! no matter how chubby fat big boned or whatever you wanna call it to be politically correct if its HUUUUGE then he goes for it. another is more practical or a maniac he goes for chubby in winter and slim in summer… so yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not gonna talk about me though :P
As for having “Theee Body” that’s bullshit… see I know this girl who everyone thinks has “Theee Body” but to most the people I know she is a turnoff because she is a bitch( using bitch to describe her attitude) so in a sense inner beauty counts as well. which is another story lol my friends brother was talking about how he liked his girlfriend and what not so I’m like your saying it’s the inside that counts? he’s like “yeah” so I tell him ” so get inside and see if it counts” lol what can I say love playing mind games thats gonna confuse his 15 year old ass wont it :P
But on the other hand men would hit anything they might say they wont when around their friends but if they alone and had a chance they would bang the shit out of missy eliot( using her to prove my point) But yeah there is a hittable factor scale but all woman are hittable from the 1′s to the 10′s physically speaking. So if sex is what you are worried about no matter what you look like 9 out of 10 would hit it given the proper time place and time. but that 1 that wouldn’t is the one you should be after but he’s hard to find.
On the other hand if you struttin your stuff being a cock tease then yeah most men would be after you since your an easy lay. Why work hard for something if you can get it just by snapping your fingers?
talking about superficial this guy I met at work was like I love girls who drive a range so I’m like what if she looked like him pointing at another guy in the room he’s like dont matter… I gave him the WTF look!!! if you like the car so much why don’t you buy one and fuck it….
why are you even thinking about that I dont know, if no one ever told you this let me say it, your cute :) so dont let these thoughts bother you or haze you for a bit. And just for your info men prefer cute over sexy.
February 5th, 2008 at
e7na kelena bel gaber wa7ed. We all decay.
The human body isn’t immortal, beauty can come in many different forms and the body doesn’t really have to be one of them! (I’m a Libra, I see beauty in everything.) Fat, skinny, green, pink, freakin yellow…the opinion differs from one guy to another. Yet there are SOME of us who actually look at the inner beauty, first & foremost!
I agree with Vagabond & I quote, “If what you meant by “manners” is decency and inner beauty, then yes it is one of the essentials in which makes a woman truly beautiful. It may not seem that way but as tiresome as this sounds but you cannot generalize based on the actions of a few. And yes, the ‘hundreds’ of examples that women claim to have witnessed is still considered as a few in contrast to the vast majority of other men that they’ve never come into contact with or ever will in or out of Kuwait.”
Enough said.
February 5th, 2008 at
Well to answer ur question “If I was obese, would people really neglect or ostracize me!?”
Yes people will neglect you ! more than they would treat you differently (es2ali mjareb)
February 5th, 2008 at
oh no i don’t think so, yes many guys/girls are attracted to the physical and the external but believe me moost people really dig deep and have crushes on particular people, who just look “not” ugly, actually i know at least 3 girls who are in love with guys who have like nasty bodies, man-boobs and all, also overly hot slutty girls are not the final destination if u know what i mean coz they are mostly dumb dumb in the head, in conclusion people are really PICKY when it comes to partners and looks are not high on the list. trust.
February 5th, 2008 at
“If I was obese, would people really neglect or ostracize me!?”
having been an obese person due to medical conditions for around 4 5 years, i tell u sadly yes. ‘normal’ ppl ostracize obese ppl. jobs rnt given to obese ppl just coz of their size, so lets not talk bout neglecting their facial features or manners! ppl neglect their IQ coz of their size!!! ok i got carried away here lol but its a very sensetive subject for me.. il muhem.
yes a couple shud have chemistry between em, but looks dont go beyond 5% of any mature healthy relationship that is based on love, respect and compatibility, u know, the right foundation for a relationship.
February 5th, 2008 at
studies have shown that a person is firstly attracted by some one’s appearance then secondly personality. i tend to agree..
but looking at the local scene, things are way out of proportion!
February 5th, 2008 at
OMG chika! sometimes you are so judgemental. with all your talk of the “sin” of not putting a peice of cloth on you head and short-wearers being labeled as nearly naked! shda3wa kil hal rage! those geezan on the streets are not whos gona come after you, there are decent people out there. get to know them and get over it!
February 6th, 2008 at
whatever, men women, both can be judging on appearances.. its a fact but by time, when you live with your partner, you will see that all that doesn’t matter and by time you lose interest in many stuff..
February 6th, 2008 at
Well those men do have a problem, they should be avoided by all costs since being with them can be damaging in every way you can imagine! W don’t feel self-conscious because those who judge 3al weight are not worthy of even considering their existance.
February 7th, 2008 at
Beauty is in the eye of the “BEER”holder LOOOOL!!!
January 17th, 2010 at
Everyone is shallow, i am shallow im im very rather fat. But the idea of beauty that is indoctrinated into us will always make someone seem unatractive. Weather we’re talking about the 1900′s where chubby women were appriciated more than skinny one’s or weather its the current accepted opinion. No matter what beauty is in respect to what we each see as beautiful.