Masks
Ever heard of the concept social masks? I bet you did! I’ve been around soooo many blogs those past three years and read so many posts on that topic, even I wrote about that a long time ago…
For those fresh bloggers let me just say that I am a normal human being, one of feelings, those that I am sometimes not ashamed of speaking openly about… I wrote about envy, I wrote about me regretting the past, about being wild sometimes.. you know the things that helped formulate the kind of woman that I am today which is also not satisfactory to me. I didn’t accomplish my goals and I’m not nearly close to them yet I strive.. in my own depressing way.. ahh the melancholy of this it just drives me insane.. One would say take control woman! I tried yet it all slips away in this one moment of weakness … I know you’ve been through that too.
Masks… I’m not talking about being a manipulating evil person. Masks that I am talking about are the ones that we put on to get through the day, should it be playing dumb sometimes to avoid hurting a close person or maybe having that smile on your face while you are slowly dying inside… we all do that and it’s legitimate but my mask lately has been one of a negative and more destructive nature!
“Macho Woman” which is for some weird reason misinterpreted as being “lesbian”!! Which is totally NOT ME (no offense to those of you who are but I truly do not accept that at all).
How can I explain this! I mean I’ve got that comment from a number of people who do not really know me still it bugs me that I reflect such an image… what’s wrong with being tough? What’s wrong with being in this sorta shell around men in particular and why do they automatically assume that a girl is “not normal” if she acts that way?!
I try to be social yet I don’t let my guards down because I know that most men now think women are too easy and they try to take advantage of that.. so in my own defense mechanism, that’s how I keep myself protected!
Yes I do have a good number of female friends whom I hang around with most of the time, how does that make me a lesbian!! If I refuse to sit down / respond to a guy that insists on having some sorta relation with me, how does that make me lesbian?!
Since when is trying to protect my heart from all the pain wrong? It’s too confusing because most people tell me to loosen up and act like me (which is crazy) yet I would rather appear aggressive and cut the crap and keep some of those nasty people away which works fine with me TILL I get the “are you a man?” comment! Yes on FB I married to a girl and I am the man of that relationship :P
I think it’s better than being coy & playing dumb! I surely think it’s better than having people see me as a play girl kinda “whorey”! It defiantly beats appearing kinda easy and accessible and to cap off my argument here I would say:
This is me, like it fine.. if you don’t stay away! I simply do not need rubbish in my life!
P.S: This is not intended to be addressed to any particular person, so do not get offended and “go sleep”
February 18th, 2008 at
Before you get flooded by sympathizers i’d like to say ” you are who you are, don’t try to be someone else” .
Shotgun?
February 18th, 2008 at
but of course shotgun ;) I don’t need sympathy I just wanted to clear that point out..
February 18th, 2008 at
I am sure you have laid it out well and its quiet clear to most of the people who misunderstood it!! we know who you are and we respect you for that :)
February 18th, 2008 at
“I think it’s better than being coy & playing dumb! I surely think it’s better than having people see me as a play girl kinda “whorey”! ”
i agree totally! im very blunt and tomboyish myself, altho by looks im very feminine, i cant fake stupidity its just too demeaning! and i cant be easy coz thats so not me! being a male up in the head doesnt make me a lesbo (well im engaged so that doesnt make me one either lol) but i get amazed at the silliness of so many ppl who take a woman who’s able to hold her own and make her into a vicious rumor of a homosexual nature!
I sense ur confidence already so i dont need to tell u to be proud! as long as ur happy with urself and ur life and ur attitude, ur better off without any negative ppl in it. bless!
February 18th, 2008 at
Don’t bother with what people say..trust they will not change what they think whatever you do.. I don’t care either..
and lol at the facebook marriage lol wishing you all the best ;)
February 18th, 2008 at
It is only ignorant guys who use the “lesbian” and “angry mean” interpretation of a woman’s behavior.
They know nothing about women or of the shell u got,though almost every woman got one..those guys even do not know that women have bodily needs they tend to fulfill just like guys do!
Speaking of which, statistics say that while in the shower, %97 percent of women tend to touch themselves..the other %3 sing a song, do you know what they sing?
February 18th, 2008 at
Lool on the facebook thing.
i guess theres more than meets the eye.
Mask is a charchter no?
interesting enuff.
February 18th, 2008 at
Ma 3alaich menhum! If you’re nice to men, they cross the line;p
February 18th, 2008 at
Let me take a wild guess and say: “I feel pretty & GAY” !! LOL
February 18th, 2008 at
Nope..so u don’t know the song..ur not the singing type then..oh well nevermind :P
February 18th, 2008 at
No seriously! what does singing in the shower imply?! Nah I don’t sing bas you obviously do since you know “the song” :P
February 18th, 2008 at
Just be yourself, weli mo 3ajba..agrab 6ofa..3adel?
Which reminds me, meta il3ers?
February 18th, 2008 at
My mask lately has involved wearing sunglasses almost always and set of earphones plugged into my head. A7la shay, beats pretending like you’re on the phone!
February 18th, 2008 at
I believe that strong, independent and original women scare and intimidate men…
Go ahead…just be yourself :)
February 18th, 2008 at
sop that’s what you pay for just because you are a tough cookie?? i’ll tell you what Chika, TOZ feehom, you are who you are, and don’t worry about those sick kinds people, you are a though lady, strong and smart, be proud of that :)
February 19th, 2008 at
This post is so confusing!!
Honestly, does it really help to appear aggressive in resolving the repetitive male approaches? Doesn’t it work by just simply saying no and still preserving your feminine image?
One more things, how does this get interpreted as being lesbian? Aren’t girls supposed to be hanging around with girls or did I miss the changes in this society in the last decade!!
February 19th, 2008 at
It’s the segregation effect buddy! Beats me why they think that, it’s interesting to study & observe though.. Or maybe it’s my reaction that triggers such comments!
February 19th, 2008 at
Yea, it’s not like you have a choice that you CAN hang out with the guy crowd where you live.
The guy is probably just angry that he knows he can never a get a girl of quality like you, so he name-calls out of spite.
HEY CHIKA!! I tagged you!…
February 19th, 2008 at
You did!? :$ WILL DO!!! :*
February 19th, 2008 at
keep in mind that people are NOT the judges of life and just be who you are…
February 19th, 2008 at
Yea you should be yourself no matter what!
February 19th, 2008 at
well you don’t need to prove for anyone you’re weak or strong. Just be yourself …
February 19th, 2008 at
will reading my words shall make u feel better?
First complaining over things and worrying over them over and over, for longer time is a female’s characteristic.
For any smart and average mind who reads your blog will know that your honest, free to speak up your mind, caring, and nice.
PPl who said such things on you are either (ma3endhom salfa) or rushers (judge bser3a )…a smart lady as you shouldn’t be taken by such people.
a sec things…is your religious, and when i say religious, i don’t mean tightly one..you know what I mean right ?
hmm in better way, you have your own religious values :)
I have just spoke to you once online, sorry twice…
someone as you can’t be a leso…
Hon, I have taught myself to express my feelings to the person in front of me..
” I really appreciate that I know a girl as you online”
(And your blog speak up you, you don’t have to worry, and all the things I said on you are right, even though I never met you, I just knew them through this e-page, if you can’t accept my words, ask your friends who know you more than me)
TC ANGEL!!
February 19th, 2008 at
I love you! :*
February 21st, 2008 at
Now you start questioning your behavior towards men which is i must say a very justified behavior and completely effective. You’re doing fine and the hell with people who thinks that kind of self protection tactics are wrong and suggest to you to loosen up, think about chik as a weak person and imagine the suffering. Good luck.