I keep on fallin’…..
I seriously feel like crack opening my skull, sticking both my hands in and literally pulling out all those bad ideas and delusions that effect me on a nearly daily basis.. I am so sick of myself! It reached a level where I am doubting God with all the bad luck I am going through or my mishaps! It’s not real I swear!
My basic problem now is marriage, especially me being close to my third decade and that’s not helping at all… It’s not that I don’t get attention from guys or it’s not like no one proposed but I am lost or should I say confused when it comes to making a decision about a life partner – let’s call it a case of “cold feet” although when time comes “enshallah” I won’t be a runaway bride!
Too many red lines one has to be careful not to cross and it’s vital that both the guy and the gal are aware of what they are going into because I hate it when someone acts upon an impulse!! Marriage is eternal to me.. no divorce is allowed in my family so I expect the same for me..
It’s just hard for me to “go down” a bit – lower the bar for the guys who propose, I mean I waited that much and I deserve something good.. if not better than other at least! I am not being envious but life is not fair when it comes to certain women getting the “best” according to this life time and I know I am drifting away from religion especially lately but how people act with me doesn’t make it better!
- Do not control me… I would give in to you with just a simple smile on your face or a tender look into my eyes
- Do not take me away from things that I like, this is what makes me as a human being
- I love having friends and I’d REALLY love to be with my man amongst a group of friends and be proud of him
- Religion is about tolerance not forcing someone to do what YOU want and use the excuse: “Because I want the best for you”! it drives me crazyyyyy!!!
I am not happy at all… I am social… I will never stop being social… I need a man… I would love to have kids… I need to settle down.. No need to do it by suffocating and killing my soul.
I want to continue studying… I want to travel the world… I want to have fun… I want to love madly and go willlllllllld!
I am OUT!
July 2nd, 2008 at
its always good to step back and reflect.. its not a bad thing if you start to doubt things that are in life…
take ur time.. but come back to us.
July 2nd, 2008 at
Honest, Chicki, you can be married AND travel, and be educated, and be happy. It CAN happen.
Sometimes the women who APPEAR to have it the best . . .well, it’s only an appearance. Better a sincere, modest man who adores you, than a gorgeous hunk who plays around or wants to be with his friends all the time, not taking care of you and the babies. We don’t really know what is going on in anyone else’s marriage.
Choose a NICE man, and get ready for a happy life.
July 2nd, 2008 at
take it easy, although its an important issue but do not worry about it and do not lower the bar, you’ll get what you deserve based on your intentions. I’m looking for my partner too, i’m 30 years old and believe me its not getting any easier for me just because i’m a man, but i believe i’m gonna find one whom i deserve. Goodluck dear
July 2nd, 2008 at
tawli baalek, I totally understand your pressure. It’s hard on girls, much harder than us guys. Allah ey3eenkom. It’s a matter of naseeb bl a5er
July 2nd, 2008 at
Good Luck,,,,,
July 2nd, 2008 at
i think when the right man comes along, ur feet will automatically become warm! so dont think too much, fate will find u :) and fate cant be forced, or avoided..
July 2nd, 2008 at
How do I know if he’s “good” for me?!! When a girl has to take into consideration lots of things, especially having her family standards in mind!
MY INTENTIONS! AAAAH! GOD KNOWS!
July 2nd, 2008 at
Okay, so you know me and you know that I only comment on a post if I feel like I need to…
Never Ever Ever lower the bar, you deserve the best of the best.. you’re beautiful, funny, energetic and sweet.. I know for a fact that there aren’t many people like you in this world, and I also know for a fact that God wouldn’t want you to wait all this time if He wasn’t going to send you someone you deserve, someone who knows your true worth and wants you to stay the same…
Just be patient, Chika, and you’ll get there :*
July 2nd, 2008 at
I hope you get all of that and more because I sincerely think you deserve it;*
July 2nd, 2008 at
hi chika! i am sure you hear from everyone the phrase “i know what you mean” and “don’t stress,” but i am living proof of this. the desire to take the next step (have your own family, etc) and the pressure from others is really frustrating, but don’t focus on that. just keep faith and keep believing that it will happen at the right time for YOU, not on others schedules.
personally, i got married at 27 for the first time via family set up and it was disasterous. beyond disasterous, from emotional, mental, and physical levels. i got divorced after 3 months with amazing support from my parents. but i did go through a very hard time and started to give up on the idea of marriage.
i fell in love with someone 1 1/2 year after. he is same age as me and never been married. but i took my time for a year to know him and then we got married. now its been almost 1 year and i can tell you its been worth the wait. i found my soulmate. he is my husband and best friend. and i didn’t have to lower my standards. there are kuwaiti guys like this who exist lol.
whatever you decide (set-up or love marriage) do what is right for you. and dont lose faith.
im really really sorry for the long post. its the first time i was ever moved to comment on a blog because i could relate to that post so well.
July 2nd, 2008 at
I wonder what advice i should give you, probably i should refrain , No advice for you but a thought of my heart ” good things are at your door, only you need to open the door” … i firmly believe in that .. Just do it.
About God … you dont have to rate yourself where you are at ‘ religious ‘ scale .. God knows you better than you know yourself … its just a phase … you will get over it .
July 2nd, 2008 at
Marriage is so over rated, I say, stay single, bala 3awar ras bala ham… Guys dun worth it, esp here in Kuwait,, yuck!!!
PS: I’m not talkin bout all guys as I neva met em all, yet :P
July 2nd, 2008 at
Sooner or later, I’m sure :) And that ends my wisdom filled comment.
khotho il 7ekma min afwah il geeks
July 2nd, 2008 at
don’t mind blasha’s comment, she will feel the same soon enough :p
btw, family standards arn’t comparable to yours, yours matters the most, keep that in mind.
July 3rd, 2008 at
I know I’ve been AWOL for awhile..stuff happens. Bas here’s my two-cents as a man & a good friend:
- There will be no control over one another once u two explore each other and know where the right ‘buttons’ are. It’s all about how you understand each other.
- Sharing the things you love, will in turn lead to the both of you sharing the things you love, things you do and all that..that applies to going out with friends..giving each other those secret messages with your eyes and etc..it’s a beautiful thing really. :)
- Whatever you do is between yourself & God. No one has the right to dictate over you. To hell with them anyway.
- It’s a beautiful thing to share the life with each other, traveling together, doing things together..hell it’s even gorgeous to simply go groceries shopping together.
Inshallah you’ll be getting all that and more Chika, yet here’s my final thing for you:
NEVER lower the ‘bar’ for anyone. You are who you are, a special and wonderful girl…and not anyone deserves you except those who really know what you’re made of!
(I know I’m echoing swair, sorry.).
Keep your chin up, woman.
July 3rd, 2008 at
Just an fyi- you’re getting pounded on this site:
http://weird-shit.net/pictures/cookie-monster/#comment-263
July 3rd, 2008 at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfXwmDGJAB8
July 3rd, 2008 at
LOOP
Year -1: current scenario;
Year 0: I think he/she is the one;
Year 1: smooochie smoochie;
Year 2: work and smoochie;
Year 3: work and work;
Year 4: if (baby==true){exit loop;}else{rants;Year -1;}
END LOOP;
Year 4-7: Hello mid-life crisis;
Loop
….
END LOOP;
July 3rd, 2008 at
FYI, thanks for that… It’s not me writing these comments and if I respond to that crap, I’ll be doing exactly what they want!
July 4th, 2008 at
chika, that sucks. Anyway, that person needs serious help.
As for the marriage thing, there are no bars. Either you click or you don’t.
July 8th, 2008 at
i like the old way of marriage, they fix it and they get along no matter what are their personalities. Now because of our spoiled life and Very open minded personality, a woman always don’t know what she wants and becomes very picky if this is the right man or not, and when it is too late, then she start’s to think negative and blame it on her luck.
I think after being self organized for so many years and then want to get into a second person life, it will be always scary for any person not just for a woman.
July 10th, 2008 at
I had to find this post! Seems like you are going through the same mind boggling experiences! I’m so sorry… and I hope that you are feeling a lot better now.
October 2nd, 2008 at
Bana YES thats wt im thining abt also.
im enjoying my life , doing wtever i want but at the end need MY OWN SMALL FAMILY!
and really its fact that when it comes to making a decision I CANT THINK ANYMORE :#
MY MIND SWITCHS OFF :#
and yes this wt i need and most important to me
- Do not control me… I would give in to you with just a simple smile on your face or a tender look into my eyes
by the way.. liked the pic :D