Chikapappi

That’s pretty much the sum up of my disappointment after another and “optimism” is the logical recommendation yet; I chose to do this my way (which is a big failure) still, I see light at the end of my tunnel!

Oh, today is my blog-aversary by the way! I totally forgot how much this blog here with all its ups n’downs and all the nut cases I’ve encountered online (that’s a compliment ;p ) have changed my life and opened it to many things – some very ugly as for the rest, I wouldn’t have gone so far without.. So bloggerettes and bloggers / silent readers and haters; I love you! Enjoy my day! I wish I could hand over some celebratory cupcakes or something.. NOT !

Let’s get back to my usual ranting and drama; Tomorrow marks yet another St. Valentine’s death anniversary and it’s so sad to watch all these men and women rushing over to buy gifts – it has gone over board with how commercial this occasion is turning into and we say in Arabic “رزق الهبل على المجانين” ! I know you’d say that I am bitter because I ain’t gettin’ no love but seriously since when has love turned into some sort of merchandise – used in such an ugly way! It kills romance when some sha76 = grown up male walks in with a Red teddy bear between his hands! Yukh!  Skinny Bee was discussing the meaning of love over dinner yesterday with my father and grandfather and my dad was saying that in Quran love as in “love between couples” – married 6ab3an lasma3le kelmeteein men el metdayneen has not been mentioned clearly meaning, marriage is built on مودة و رحمة = affection and mercy / understanding. Now that I totally understand so it makes me more opened to the idea of arranged marriages unlike my former immature self that used to blaze the house on fire whenever I heard of some suitor visiting to “check” me out.

I’ve been called lesbian before!! I’ve been referred to as the “mostarjela” = mannish / tomboy, recently been called “dry”, tough, stiff, feeling-less… get the flow?! All fall into the same category which basically is a turn off to guys! Eh ! I don’t mean to but this is me! What am I supposed to melt to the mere sight of a pretty boy! Or the first couple of nice words in person or online *e7em* ! Hell no! and NO, that ain’t playing hard to get but dear females, we are during hard times which necessitates our extreme caution while handling the opposite sex! God knows, enough heart breaks and this time it exceeds me to effect my family (remember the responsibility post) yeah – it kind of bites me in the butt every time and I avoid it because I don’t know if my parents understand that it sincerely hurts every piece of my body listening to that conversation and my only defense mechanism is anger to divert their attention.. here you go, am opening up to complete strangers again! *sigh*

I just want to say, Valentines is not only restricted / reflected on one particular day.. If you have that special someone, be honest and sincere to them and work on your relation; It kills me seeing how married people – that’s my concern – treat each other and the loss of true meaning of marriage as a bond in our societies..

Happy Valentine’s .. NOT!

Today’s Music picks that will set the mood just fine for you love birds out there – he he he :

1. Roisin Murphy [ Dear Diary ]

2. Roisin Murphy [ Let me Know ] <– :)

3. Roisin Murphy [ Night of the Dancing Flame ]

4. Roisin Murphy [ Overpowered ]

5. Moloko’s [ The Time is Now ]

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